I’m sure you’ve caught this by now, but 2013 is a year of change around here. We’re two months in and I’m hitting that goal list again implementing more big changes in our lives.
I have to be honest with you, I didn’t share ALL of my goals in the original post because well, some just weren’t prudent to put out there at the time. One of the “private” goals that I had been keeping to myself was to be able to quit my job and stay home, putting my family first. The time line I had put on it was April 15/13. WELL, this is yet another goal accomplished EARLY. I am excited to announce that March 2/13 marks the last day of my employment. After which point I will be Mommy extraordinaire staying home, and focusing on the people and things in my life that really matter to me.
Over the last year and a half I have struggled with finding balance in my life and my family’s life. I am out of the house daily for work from 8am until almost 6pm – sometimes longer depending on the season – and E is in daycare for most of that time. Through the winter months I have two day weekends but they fall Sunday & Monday and my hubby works a normal job Monday – Friday leaving only one day a week for family time. Come summer I have two separate days off in the week, Sunday and a week day. It feels impossible to do anything as a family because there is so much that needs to be done. Then when it comes do exercise, or just getting out on my own I am squeezing it in early (like 4:30/5am early) or after work and not seeing E for a full 24 hour period. I often find myself having to give up things and relationships that are vitally important to me to accommodate my work schedule. I am exhausted all the time and feel like I have nothing to give, I’ve been running on empty for over a year now. I’m not complaining, I know that many working families struggle with the same things. I just can’t help but feeling that there has to be another way.
Don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed eight great years of work with wonderful employers and co-workers. They have become great friends to us. In a lot of ways they have become like family and I will miss them dearly. As I’ve been working away at tying up loose ends and putting in place the systems the next person in line to do my job will need I have to admit I feel sad. I keep asking myself if I am really doing this. I know they have enjoyed having me there, and I have built relationships that go beyond being co-workers or business acquaintances with my fellow employee’s and a lot of the reps and suppliers that I work with on a daily basis so I do feel sad to leave and I have found myself struggling with the decision from time to time. It feels a little bitter sweet.
But there is just something about this sweet little face asking me to stay home and play with her that makes my heart melt and motivates me to get life in order and re-align my time commitments with my priorities. Then there are the evenings that at 9pm we’re still washing dishes and making lunches and in my heart I know that I have made the right decision. I know that my family will blossom because of it. So I am stepping into change with some trepidation, but also excited to see where the path will lead. Who knows, but I can’t wait to find out!